I'm about to let go and live what I believe. I can't do a thing now but trust that you will catch me. (Barlow Girl)
Yeah I trust in you, I remember times You led me, this time it's bigger now, and I'm afraid You'll let me down.
But how can I be certain?
Will You prove Yourself again?
Will You prove Yourself again?
'Cause I'm about to let go and live what I believe. I can't do a thing now but trust that You'll catch me when I let go.
When I let go
What is this doubt in me convincing me to fear the unknown when all along You've shown Your plans are better than my own
And I know I won't make it
If I do this all alone
And I know I won't make it
If I do this all alone
'Cause I'm about to let go and live what I believe. I can't do a thing now but trust that You'll catch me when I let go.
When I let go
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Barlow Girl has so many amazing songs. They're an awesome group. I wish I could sing this song and actually mean every word. That would be really cool right now.
There are a few problems that I am struggling with in my life that don't really make that possible, at least for now.
The first one is, I've really never had to trust God with something before. I mean, not consciously I guess. I've never had something this big happen to me personally. I have "trusted" God to work out situations in other peoples lives that I knew or maybe affected me a little bit, but I've never had something so major and so personal like this happen to me. I always do things on my own, I've never really even let myself just give stuff over to God cause I have always been able to handle things fairly well up to this point. I could probably get into that more but I'll leave it for another day. Sooo having never really bothered just giving up and trusting God with smaller, well I really don't have any trust built in Him. Now, I don't want to say that I don't trust God. That's not what I mean. Kinda.... like I know that God is trustworthy... more so then anyone else. But its just head knowledge. I have never given Him the chance to really prove that to me. I've never been brave enough to let Him. I want to maintian as much control in my life as I can. Welll I have no control of the situation I'm in right now, whether I give it to God or not. The most control I have is to just keep fighting and refusing to give up (I have a whole other tanget to go on about fighting... I'll get to that sometime here in the near future).
The second is living what I believe I suppose. Kind of. I have gotten to the point in my life where I say I am a Christian, and I do Christian things (most of the time) and I go to church and I live like a Christian for the most part. But I think I do those things because that's how I was raised. They've become second nature, habit. I mean, you could replace the word Christian in what I wrote above with Boscaljon, and it would still work. I don't do them because its what God wants me to do... I don't do them FOR God, if that makes sense. I just do them because I always have. Now I do not in any way want to make it seem like growing up in an amazing Christian home is a bad thing at all. I am very thankful for it. But somewhere along the line I stopped making my faith my own and connecting with God personally.
There are a few problems that I am struggling with in my life that don't really make that possible, at least for now.
The first one is, I've really never had to trust God with something before. I mean, not consciously I guess. I've never had something this big happen to me personally. I have "trusted" God to work out situations in other peoples lives that I knew or maybe affected me a little bit, but I've never had something so major and so personal like this happen to me. I always do things on my own, I've never really even let myself just give stuff over to God cause I have always been able to handle things fairly well up to this point. I could probably get into that more but I'll leave it for another day. Sooo having never really bothered just giving up and trusting God with smaller, well I really don't have any trust built in Him. Now, I don't want to say that I don't trust God. That's not what I mean. Kinda.... like I know that God is trustworthy... more so then anyone else. But its just head knowledge. I have never given Him the chance to really prove that to me. I've never been brave enough to let Him. I want to maintian as much control in my life as I can. Welll I have no control of the situation I'm in right now, whether I give it to God or not. The most control I have is to just keep fighting and refusing to give up (I have a whole other tanget to go on about fighting... I'll get to that sometime here in the near future).
The second is living what I believe I suppose. Kind of. I have gotten to the point in my life where I say I am a Christian, and I do Christian things (most of the time) and I go to church and I live like a Christian for the most part. But I think I do those things because that's how I was raised. They've become second nature, habit. I mean, you could replace the word Christian in what I wrote above with Boscaljon, and it would still work. I don't do them because its what God wants me to do... I don't do them FOR God, if that makes sense. I just do them because I always have. Now I do not in any way want to make it seem like growing up in an amazing Christian home is a bad thing at all. I am very thankful for it. But somewhere along the line I stopped making my faith my own and connecting with God personally.
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So I started this a couple days ago, and I don't remember exactly where I was going with it. But I did like the thoughts that I started with so I'll post it anyways. Maybe some time I'll remember the rest of what I was going to say. =)
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